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Dear Fashion Industry,

I'm getting pretty tired of the mule/slide phenomenon. Could we please have whole shoes again? Thanks.

Also, I've noticed a disturbing trend lately and I'm hoping you can assuage my fears about it. I just don't think I'm ever going to get on board with the short pants/tall boots look, and I'm concerned because it seems like capris and crops aren't going away for the fall. Please tell me I'm going to be able to find whole pants this autumn. Otherwise I'm going to have perpetually chilly ankles.

Thanks again,
Ellen

p.s. and please tell me you're kidding with the gauchos. I hated them when I was twelve and my mother made me wear them, and I hate them even more now that you're foisting them upon me.

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In other news, I am officially a fossil. Evidence to support this assertion follows:

1. My oldest nephew is leaving for college this week. Also, he and his girlfriend got busted [1] last week sending naughty pictures to each other's cell phones.

2. My sister's other 2 kids are both starting junior year and driving actual cars.

3. . Niece #2 is starting high school in a few weeks. At my old school. I would be highly amused that she'll be recognized as being my kin (we have the same last name and almost the same first name), except that it's been so long since I went there that there's only one teacher left who knew me.

The good news is that in addition to being gorgeous, she's both smart and athletic, so she will do much better by our name than I did. Erin B will probably be more popular and better-known than Ellen B was.

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[1] by her parents; I'm pretty sure my sister and her husband reacted with something along the lines of "ugh, you cheeseball."